


doubt

by humanveil



Series: et cetera [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Coda, Episode: s01e01 Payback, Gen, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-25 13:17:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14977973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanveil/pseuds/humanveil
Summary: “Do you think I can handle this?”





	doubt

**Author's Note:**

> flashwork for the prompt ‘doubt’. enjoy!

“Do you think I can handle this?”

They’re walking out of the bullpen when Olivia speaks, the building emptying out for the evening. Her voice is quieter than she’d have liked, the words ones that have sat on the tip of her tongue all day. The question forming the second they’d stepped out of Cragen’s office.

Elliot looks behind his shoulder. “Handle what?”

“This job,” Olivia clarifies, and he falters. Stops walking and reaches out, curls a hand around her elbow to bring her to the side of the hallway, away from prying ears. Olivia sighs, curls her arms against her chest.

“Do _you_ think you can?” Elliot asks her, and Olivia rolls her eyes.

“That wasn’t the question.”

“Answer it anyway,” Elliot says. He’s staring at her, his gaze full of an intense sincerity that Olivia both loves and hates.

“I—” She starts and stops, thinks. She’d thought she could, but Cragen’s comments have formed a pool of doubt that sits heavy in the pit of her stomach. An uncertainty she can’t seem to shake.

She knows she’s the only one who’s been treated like this—that she’s the only one with a history that would warrant it—and it makes her bitter, slightly. Makes her angry that she has to do more just to prove herself; that it’s obviously something Elliot and Cragen have discussed behind her back.

“I’m a good cop,” she says, and it feels like she’s said it too many times today.

“I know,” Elliot tells her. “No one’s questioning that.”

Olivia sighs, reaches up to run her fingers through her hair. “It’s not like I’m the only one who thought he deserved it,” she says, and Elliot’s mouth twitches.

“You’re not,” he says. “But it’s not about what we think.”

Olivia swallows, looks up at him. “You don’t think I can be objective,” she says, and it’s not a question. She can tell—knows him well enough to read it off him.

“Objectivity’s a load of crap,” is what Elliot says. “There’s always going to be cases that get personal, you just have to... work around it.”

Olivia snorts, the sound humourless and barely audible. “Yeah,” she says, exhaustion leaking into her voice. It’s obvious she doesn’t believe him.

Elliot sighs. “Don’t feel bad,” he says softly. “Cragen’s hard on everyone at first. You’re still new—it’ll get easier.”

Olivia exhales, drops her gaze and steps off the wall. Starts walking toward the exit again. He’s right, she thinks, as he turns to follow her. It doesn’t do a whole lot to make her feel better.

It’s not until they’re inside the elevator that Olivia speaks again. “You never answered my question,” she says, and Elliot grins from his spot beside her.

“Of course you can handle it,” he says, leaning forward to catch her eye. “You wouldn’t still be here if you couldn’t.”

And—he’s telling the truth. Or, at least, she thinks he is.

It’s enough to dissipate some of the doubt.


End file.
